A Change of Heart
by RumbleintheDumbles
Summary: Finding herself devoid of employment after the events of Volume 2, Neo decides that she will change her ways, and enrol at Beacon Academy. The enrolling part, easy. The other... well, one out of two isn't bad, right?
1. Neo Enrolls

**A/N: I've seen a couple of fics with this premise before, but I didn't really feel any of them matched my ideal interpretation of the character. So I decided to make my own take on it!**

**Disclaimer: I certainly don't own RWBY. It belongs to Rooster Teeth.**

* * *

Officers and staff members unfortunate enough to be in her way almost dived aside to avoid Glynda Goodwitch as she stormed down the corridor.

Her infuriating boss, Ozpin, had called her and asked for her to help him with an interview for a potential new transfer to Beacon. She had no idea why she needed to take time out of her exceedingly busy schedule when one staff member should have been more than enough, but Ozpin actually sounded oddly serious when he made the request, so she actually made the effort.

She would later deny cursing out loud when she found out the interview was taking place at the police station.

Nodding to the armed guard outside the door, she was let in. "Alright, Ozpin. I'm here. Now what ridiculous plan are you cooking up-" she blinked as she registered the appearance of their apparent prospective new transfer. The girl was very short, for one, and certainly came with an unusual colour scheme - wearing an odd tailcoat-corset mix in white, pink and black, with particularly unique hair - brown on one side, pink with white highlights on the other, and heterochromic eyes.

This was a description she had heard before.

From her students. Describing a battle for their lives.

"Ozpin," Glynda's voice was strained, "Did you honestly call me here to help you interview a girl who fought and may have attempted to kill one of our students on behalf of a criminal mastermind for our school?"

"Yes," Ozpin replied without missing a beat, his ever-present coffee cup in hand, "She says," he paused, "Well, she can't speak, so technically, she writes..."

"Ozpin," Glynda growled.

"She informed me that she intends to change her ways. Isn't that right, Neo?"

The girl gave an innocent smile, followed by quite possibly the least reassuring nod Glynda had ever seen from a living creature of any kind.

"And I am never one to turn down offering a second chance to those who have strayed from the wrong path," Ozpin finished with a nod.

"The wrong path?" Glynda sounded exasperated, "Ozpin, she likely tried to _murder_ one of our students."

"Yes," Ozpin agreed, "And that is a serious charge. What do you have to say... or, rather-"

"Ozpin!"

"Yes, how do you respond to this accusation, Neo?" Ozpin asked seriously.

The colourful girl looked thoughtful for a moment, before nodding to herself and writing out a response on the whiteboard she had been provided. She held it up with a smile.

**SHE STARTED IT **

"Aha, I see," Ozpin smiled in acceptance, "There you go, Glynda. Miss Xaio Long clearly started it. We can not reward aggressive behaviour, can we?"

Glynda had thought she was used to the nonsense that often accompanied being associated with Ozpin, but for once she found herself lost for words.

"You... what... but..." she held a hand to her forehead, "Why do I bother? Have you even asked 'Neo' here about her motivation for leaving her life of criminal activity?"

Ozpin looked at Neo inquisitively.

The girl started writing again. She held up the whiteboard.

**PAYSLIP -**** BOSS GOT CAUGHT **

Then her eyes widened, and she quickly jotted down another sentence.

**AND IT TOTALLY MADE ME WANT TO CHANGE MY WICKED WAYS **

"Indeed," Ozpin nodded appreciatively, "Failure is quite the cautionary tale, is it not? Seeing the consequences of Mr Torchwick's actions must have made you strongly rethink your own lifestyle."

Neo held up the board again with a nervous grin.

**SURE, LET'S GO WITH THAT**

Glynda shook her head. "Well, I don't believe that for a second, but how about you provide some more context, Miss... Neo? Such as, perhaps, _why_ you were a criminal in the first place?"

"Oh, yes," Ozpin nodded, "I would love to hear how a pleasant young lady such as yourself got involved in such horrible activities."

The girl looked stumped for a few moments, then brightened as she seemed to have a sudden moment of inspiration and the pen got to work again.

**BECAUSE OF DISCRIMINATION **

"Discrimination?" Glynda asked in resigned confusion.

**YES**

She scribbled again.

**YOU SEE, I AM **

She paused for a few moments for dramatic effect, then held the board up.

**AN ICE-CREAM FAUNUS **

"An ice-cream Faunus," Glynda repeated in monotone.

The girl nodded gravely.

**TIMES WERE HARD **

She gave a surprisingly convincing haunted look as she held up the whiteboard once more.

**I STILL SEE THE WAFERS IN MY DREAMS **

"Not many young people can live through such adversity and still have the moral fibre to admit they have made the wrong choice," Ozpin said with admiration as Glynda twitched. He looked thoughtful for a moment.

"And since you decisively defeated one of our more impressive students, I have no doubt that you have the competence needed to enrol at the academy," he took a sip of his coffee cup, "I see no reason why we shouldn't give you the opportunity to redeem yourself and become a productive member of society."

The short girl nodded happily.

"You can't be seriously considering this," Glynda hissed.

"I already filed the paperwork," Ozpin informed her nonchalantly.

She paused. "Ozpin," she began slowly, "If this interview was already a foregone conclusion, why on Remnant did you ask for me to come over and give my opinion?"

"Because I knew it would annoy you," Ozpin replied, taking another sip, "And I needed a way to get back at you for using up the last of the sugar in the staff room yesterday."

"You... you..." Glynda's trembling hand went to her riding crop, and Neo ducked under the table.

* * *

James Ironwood sighed from his ship window as he observed his old friend fly out of a building at high velocity and disappear off into the distance.

He shook his head, instantly recognising the tell-tale signs of a Glynda rampage. "You brought this on yourself."


	2. Neo meets Team RWBY

**Disclaimer: Still don't own RWBY. It still belongs to Rooster Teeth. **

* * *

As Neo strolled through the entrance hall, she reflected that she was rather enjoying her stay at Beacon Academy so far. Her room was nice (she wasn't allowed room-mates for some reason, so she had it all to herself), the campus was very pleasant, and the food had both impressed and confused her (seriously, though, who the hell eats a whole Marlin for breakfast?)

"YOU!"

Neo turned around with an amused smile as a familiar voice shouted from behind her.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" the blonde-haired girl she had beaten on the train, Yang Xaio Long as she recalled from Roman's briefing, growled as the rest of her team, Ruby Rose the street vigilante, Blake Belladonna the White Fang defector and Weiss Schnee the heiress prepared for battle.

Students around them began to gather at what they felt was a safe distance to observe.

Neo grabbed her pen and trusty whiteboard.

**ENROLLED AT BEACON **

She gave a smug grin.

"Wha... but... _you tried to kill me_," Yang sounded outraged.

Neo blinked.

**OH YEAH **

She paused, trying to think of what to write.

**SORRY ABOUT THAT **

"And yet you don't look very sorry at all," Weiss interjected.

Neo looked thoughtful.

**YEAH, WELL YOU'RE RACIST **

"What? No I'm not," Weiss said defensively. Blake shot her a look. "At least, not in the context of this conversation," she amended.

"That's better," Blake nodded.

Neo held up her board again.

**SAYING I CAN'T LOOK SINCERE BECAUSE I'M AN ICE-CREAM FAUNUS **

She gave an exaggerated sigh.

**HOW TERRIBLE **

The four girls stared.

"You... do you think Faunus rights are a _joke?_ That the discrimination of an entire race is something to _make fun of?_" Blake hissed indignantly.

Neo frowned at her.

**I WOULD NEVER JOKE ABOUT THE WAFERS **

"Um..." Ruby put her hand up shyly. Neo turned to her with a questioning smile. "Does that mean there are cookie Faunus, too?" She asked hopefully.

Neo narrowed her eyes as she held up the board again.

**WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT OUR CRUNCHY BRETHREN **

Ruby's face lit up.

"Ruby, there's no such thing as a Cookie Faunus or an Ice-Cream Faunus," Blake sighed.

Neo practically saw the girl's heart break there and then. It was hilarious.

"Look, I don't care how you fooled the teachers into letting you in," Yang then growled, "But you're _not_ fooling me. I'll be there, the moment you step out of line. I'm _watching you!_"

Neo nodded matter-of-factly, then held up the whiteboard again.

**OF COURSE YOU'RE WATCHING ME, WHO ISN'T **

She flipped it around.

**I'M FABULOUS **

Team RWBY would later look back on this as the point that Yang started twitching.

_-Ten minutes later-The Library-_

_"Why are you here,"_ Yang hissed.

Neo gave her a pitying look as the other girls tried to get on with their studying.

**WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS YONG **

She flipped the board.

**I ENROLLED HERE **

"I meant, why are you following us?" the blonde replied furiously, "And it's _Yang._"

Neo gave a look of realisation and nodded.

**YOU'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE HERE I KNOW **

She gave her best unsure look.

**I'M SHY**

"You're shy." Yang repeated in disbelief.

"We only know you because you 'used to' work against us," Blake pointed out tiredly, "That's not exactly a positive prior interaction."

Neo thought about it for a moment.

**SISTERHOOD FORGED IN BATTLE IS STRONGER THAN STEEL **

"That saying only works when you fight _together,_" Weiss pointed out, "Not against each other."

Neo gave her a flat look, and held the board up at her.

**SHUT UP RACIST **

Weiss twitched. "No," she took a deep breath to calm herself down, "Don't let her get to you. Don't let her get to you..."

They settled into an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, before Neo ironically and inevitably broke it again by tapping Yang on the shoulder.

Yang looked up.

**HEY YUNG **

She ignored the girl and returned to her work.

A minute later, Neo tapped her on the shoulder again.

Yang looked up with one twitching eye.

**HEY YAM **

"DAMN IT, I'M NOT A F***ING SWEET POTATO!" Yang roared as she stood up. "IT'S YANG!"

Ruby hid behind a face-palming Weiss. "Yang said a _bad word,_" she whispered fearfully.

Neo, on the other hand, gave Yang an unimpressed look.

**WE REALLY NEED TO WORK ON YOUR ANGER ISSUES YANG **

She shook her head in disappointment.

**I THOUGHT I WOULD BE FREE OF YOUR MISPLACED AGGRESSION AFTER JOINING THE SIDE OF GOOD **

Yang forced herself to calm down. "What. Do. You. Want," she got out through gritted teeth.

Neo tilted her head.

**REMEMBER THAT TIME WE WERE ON A TRAIN AND I KICKED YOUR ASS **

She flipped the board.

**THAT WAS AWESOME **

She gave Yang a triumphant look as she jotted down another line.

**ESPECIALLY THE BACK-FLIPPING THING I DID WHERE I SAT DOWN AND UNFOLDED MY PARASOL **

She smiled and nodded, flipping it again.

**HOW COOL WAS THAT **

Yang's face went blank.

Neo held up the board again.

**THIS IS WHAT FRIENDS DO, RIGHT **

She gave a bright smile.

**REMINISCE ABOUT THE GOOD TIMES **

She paused, before scribbling another note.

**WELL, GOOD FOR ME, AT LEAST **

Yang cocked Ember Celica.

* * *

Glynda frowned as explosions and screams started to ring out from the library.

"And of course, I'm going to have to clean that up," she held a hand to her forehead to stem the approaching headache.


	3. Neo meets Team JNPR

**A/N: I messed up with the spelling of Ember Celica. I am a terrible, terrible person. Almost as terrible as Neo. Also, some of the formatting has gone astray in the first chapter, unfortunately - I wasn't aware you couldn't do strike-throughs on this, and it ruined one of the lines. I'll strive to be more diligent with future chapters. And a huge thanks to everyone who has expressed an interest already!**

**Disclaimer: An update on the ownership situation - I still don't own RWBY, and the owners are, in fact, Rooster Teeth. More on this breaking news as we get it!**

* * *

Neo whistled happily as she made her way through the campus toward the next set of temporary team-mates. After the debacle in the Library, which resulted in a berserk Yang Xiao Long knocking out roughly twenty-five students with her bare hands and... accidentally... incapacitating Glynda Goodwitch with a flying copy of _Ninjas of Love_ (that would teach her to doubt Neo's pure and honest intentions) before being taken down by a high-velocity Corgi courtesy of the newly-arrived Professor Oobleck, it had been decided that Neo needed to mingle with the other teams to help her learn how to interact with other human beings without causing massive damage to people and property. For obvious reasons, she was being kept well away from team RWBY, but she had been assigned to shadow various teams over the last couple of days.

The first team she was assigned to was led by a large, burly fellow called Cardin. Oddly enough, nobody really seemed all that concerned when he and his friends were reduced to a sobbing wreck. She guessed he was kind of a dick, or something.

She then worked her way through three other teams, all of which with predictable results - tears, violence, tears because of violence, violence because of tears, there was even one chap who broke her whiteboard in a tearful rage. Professor Ozpin seemed understanding when she explained (with a shiny new whiteboard) that the whiteboard had gained great sentimental value to her in the week or so since she'd gotten it and it was obviously her emotional distress that made her bounce the offender off the ceiling, three times.

Today, she was apparently being assigned to one of the more notable teams, JNPR. Led by a chap called Jaune Arc, and apparently they played a big part in the defence of the city during the Grimm invasion.

* * *

Ren sighed as the new girl tapped him on the shoulder again.

He turned around.

**HEY REN**

"Yes, Neo?"

She was holding up her ever-present whiteboard.

**IS LIE REN A PUN**

He blinked. "No, it is not."

She nodded, then started scribbling again.

**GOOD, BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A TERRIBLE PUN REN**

Ren merely nodded, turned back around and hoped she would find something else to distract her soon.

His prayers were almost answered by his team-mate and partner.

"Neo..." Nora asked excitedly, "Can I see your umbrella?"

"Parasol," Ren corrected absent-mindedly.

"Yeah, that. Can I see your parasol?"

Neo looked thoughtful as she wrote.

**I DON'T KNOW**

She flipped the board.

**THE CAPABILITIES OF INFERIOR LIFE FORMS HAVE NEVER REALLY CONCERNED ME**

Nora fell silent, a confused look on her face as she tried to work out exactly what Neo had just said to her.

The walk through the campus continued in blessed silence for a few moments before Neo tapped Ren on the shoulder again. He resisted the urge to cry as he turned around once more.

**HEY REN**

"What is it now, Neo?" He sighed.

**DO I GET ROYALTIES FOR YOU DOING MY HAIR THING**

He frowned. "Excuse me?"

**YOU'RE TOTALLY DOING MY HAIR THING, WITH THE PINK STREAK**

She nodded to herself as she turned the board around.

**SO I SHOULD GET ROYALTIES REN**

He opened his mouth, then closed it again as she held up the board again.

**PAY UP BITCH**

He took a breath to calm himself. "I wasn't aware that having a pink streak in your hair was a phenomenon that belonged to any particular person. I certainly apologise if it has annoyed you."

She narrowed her eyes as she scribbled her next reply.

**I'LL LET YOU OFF THIS ONCE SINCE YOU DIDN'T KNOW**

She nodded to herself, holding her board contently.

**BECAUSE I'M A KIND AND GENEROUS SOUL LIKE THAT REN**

"Indeed," Ren said dryly, "You are a paragon of righteousness."

Behind them, Jaune and Pyrrha were having a furious and very quiet conversation.

"We need to put our foot down!" Pyrrha whispered.

"Are you crazy?" Jaune hissed back, "Do you _want_ to attract her attention? Because I don't! Ren's the patient one, he can handle it."

"Well, no, but Ren's our team-mate! I feel bad not doing anything," Pyrrha frowned.

"We'll just pay for his lunch for the next few days or something," Jaune said reassuringly, "We'll make it up to him somehow."

"Oh," Pyrrha sounded unsure, "Fine, but I don't like this."

"Me neither," Jaune admitted, "Look, I'd take a lot of things for Ren. A sword to the face. A claw to the back. A bullet to the chest. But _that?_ Heck no."

Ren was oblivious to the contents of said conversation, as Neo tapped him on the shoulder again.

He turned around.

**HEY REN**

"...Yes Neo?" He said evenly.

**I HEARD THAT EVERY TIME JNPR GETS INTO A FIGHT YOU END UP MORE INJURED THAN ANYONE ELSE**

She gave him a questioning look as she held up her board.

**ARE YOU A MEAT SHIELD REN**

He frowned. "I certainly am not! I'm a close-range mobility fighter, it's only natural that I would take worse hits than the others in difficult situations."

She flipped the board around.

**WHY ARE YOU A MEAT SHIELD REN**

He clenched his now-trembling fist and declined to respond.

There was a moment of silence as they kept walking.

His eye started twitching when that grimm-damned board was shoved in front of his face.

**HEY REN**

He turned his head mechanically towards the current bane of his existence, who was giving him an innocent look while holding up a new question.

**SINCE YOUR NAME IS LAST IN THE TEAM, DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE THE LEAST IMPORTANT**

She scribbled again.

**LIKE YANG**

The board flipped around.

**ARE YOU THE TEAM YANG, REN**

It was at that point that the bullets started flying.

The legendary rampage of Lie Ren would go down in history as one of the most impressive disasters to ever hit Beacon Academy. It was said that he flattened almost an entire quarter of the Campus before they could calm him down - if not for the impressive talents of Professor Goodwhich, the property damage would have been estimated in the millions.

As it was, Neo had another team that she was not allowed to interact with under any circumstances, which meant the list was rapidly running short. They were now considering having her shadow some of the higher-years...


	4. Neo meets Team CFVY

**A/N: Again, big thanks to the people who have followed and favoured this so far, and thanks for your reviews!**

**Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Rooster Teeth, and fortunately not me - as I seriously doubt I could have made it even a tenth as good! **

* * *

Coco set down her cup and gave a sigh of contentment. This café was the favoured relaxation spot for Team CFVY - they had great coffee, nice enough food and a nice view. She mulled over their assignment for the day.

Apparently, this new transfer was an absolute monster who left nothing but ruin in her wake by virtue of being so damn annoying. The firsties couldn't handle it, so they assigned her to shadow team CFVY. She hadn't expected the girl to be totally mute. She did had to admit, though, Neo had style. Maybe not quite as much style as her, but style non-the-less.

She glanced over at the multi-coloured menace to society, who was holding up the little whiteboard she used to communicate.

**HEY COCO**

"Mm-hmm?"

**NICE BERET**

"I know," Coco agreed.

**YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WEAR BERETS THOUGH**

"I'm sure you're about to tell me," she responded.

**HIPSTERS**

Coco raised an eyebrow.

**OH WAIT LET ME GUESS**

The girl scribbled on her board again.

**YOU WERE WEARING BERETS BEFORE IT WAS COOL RIGHT**

Coco frowned, and tried to return to her drink.

She looked up again as Neo tapped on the table.

**HEY COCO**

"What is it now?" She sighed.

**IF FOX IS THE BLIND GUY HOW COME YOU'RE THE ONE ALWAYS WEARING SUNGLASSES**

"Because blind people are the _only_ ones who wear sunglasses," Coco pointed out dryly.

**IT'S NOT EVEN SUNNY COCO**

Neo flipped the board around.

**WHY DO YOU FAIL AT WEATHER COCO**

Coco merely shook her head and declined to respond.

For a few minutes, they had written and verbal silence.

Until...

**HEY YATSUHASHI**

The young man in question looked down at Neo with some trepidation. "Yes, Neo?"

**I'VE JUST THOUGHT**

He resisted the urge to cringe. "And what have you just thought?"

**YOUR NAME IS LAST ON THE TEAM LIST RIGHT**

He nodded. "Yes."

**AND YOUR NAME BEGINS WITH Y RIGHT**

"It does," he answered slowly, wondering where she was going with this.

**AND YOUR ONLY APPARENT PURPOSE IS TO HIT STUFF REALLY HARD RIGHT**

"I wouldn't say that," he frowned.

She held up her board with a bright smile.

**YANGSUHASHI**

He took a deep breath, but remained silent.

Neo frowned, before penning something new.

**HEY FOX**

Then she came to a realisation as Coco smothered a laugh.

**OH THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR**

The other members of team CFVY began exchanging small-talk as Neo sulked in her chair.

When she finally piped up again, it was with a new target in mind.

**HEY VELVET**

The Rabbit Faunus practically shrank in on herself as she found herself gaining the unwanted attention of the Technicolour Terror (as they now called her throughout the school).

**HOW COME YOUR TEAM NEVER WENT TO BEAT UP THAT CARDIN GUY WHEN HE SUBJECTED YOU TO RACIST BULLYING**

Neo gave an accusing look as she held up her whiteboard.

**TEAMS SHOULD SUPPORT EACH OTHER RIGHT VELVET**

"He _what._" Coco and Yatsuhashi said flatly.

"Ah... um..." Velvet looked embarrassed..

**OH WAS THAT A SECRET VELVET**

Neo gave a look of astonishment as she scribbled down another note.

**SORRY, I'M BAD AT KEEPING SECRETS**

She shrugged as if to say 'what can you do?'

**IT'S BECAUSE I'M MUTE VELVET**

She gave a conspiring smile.

**IRONIC RIGHT**

"Velvet? Is she telling the truth?" Coco demanded.

Velvet sighed. "It wasn't anything really bad..."

"An explanation for the blind guy, please," Fox requested dryly.

"It seems some jackass has been giving Velvet trouble because she's a Faunus," Coco informed him.

His brow furrowed. "Oh. _Well then._"

"Guys, please... it was only some pushing and shoving and some name-calling, I could handle it," Velvet pleaded.

"Nope," Coco declared, "Nobody picks on our team-mate. Velvet, grab your gear. We're going to beat that fool senseless. You're using your weapon."

"But you said only use that if it's really import-"

"-This is important," Coco interrupted her, "Stop arguing with me or I'll eat all Yatsuhashi's chocolate cake again and leave none for you."

"No! Not that!" Velvet cried as she sped off to her locker.

"You," Coco pointed at Neo, "You're coming with. You can watch, don't get in the way."

Neo nodded happily. Sure, she hadn't been able to piss off Team CFVY as much as she would have liked, but at least she still managed to cause some mayhem.

* * *

It was a very traumatised Neo that followed team CFVY back to their favoured café.

She gave the haunted look worn only by one who has witnessed something more terrible than they could ever imagine, as she held up her whiteboard with shaking hands.

**IT WAS A...**

"Yep," Coco smirked, "People often have that reaction when they see Velvet's weapon the first time around."

Neo shuddered as she wrote.

**HOW CAN SOMETHING LIKE THAT EXIST IN THIS WORLD**

"I'm still not sure we should have gone so hard on them," Velvet frowned as she caught up with them.

Neo let out a silent scream and ran to hide behind Coco. She held her board out in front of the other girl's face.

**OHGODOHGODOHGOD DON'T LET IT GET ME**

She scribbled frantically.

**I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I EVER SAID**

Some of the words were partially blotched by her tear-drops.

**BERETS ARE REALLY COOL AND IT'S TOTALLY FINE TO WEAR SUNGLASSES**

"Well," Coco informed the others with satisfaction, "I'd say this was a successful day. How about you guys?"

"I got to punch a guy in face," Fox shrugged, "That's always a plus."

"I enjoyed myself," Yatsuhashi nodded.

"It did feel kind of good to get back at him," Velvet admitted shyly.

**I'M SORRY FOR CALLING YOU A YANG JUST PLEASE KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME**

Neo sobbed silently into her whiteboard.

**I'M TOO FABULOUS TO DIE**

"Well," Coco stretched, "I don't know about you, but I'm beat. Everyone up for dropping this one," she motioned to the girl who was now rocking back and forth, clutching her parasol like a lifeline, "Back off at her dorm and hitting the sack?"

"Sure."

"Sounds good."

"Okay. Er, will she be all right?" Velvet regarded the pitiful sight in front of her with some concern.

"Ah, she'll be fine," Coco waved it off, "I think. Maybe. Who even cares?"


	5. Neo Saves the Day

**A/N: We're getting close to the end of what I had planned for this fic - I only wanted a small comedy piece, as I've found in the past on other sites that if I stretch humour/crack fics out too much, they run stale. Still, I intend to do at least another chapter after this one and possibly more if the inspiration strikes me, so the misadventures of Neo aren't quite over yet!**

**Disclaimer: I'm afraid RWBY doesn't belong to me - it all belongs to the genius team at Rooster Teeth.**

* * *

'Really, it's almost like people don't trust me or something,' Ozpin mused internally as he considered his latest project, while a furious tempest of rage that some also knew as Glynda Goodwitch paced around his office.

It had taken a couple of days, but Neopolitan had managed to recover from the horrible experience she witnessed while shadowing team CFVY, and they were once again faced with the conundrum of where to put her.

"Well, Ozpin? What are we going to do with her?" Glynda demanded, "She's obviously incompatible with literally _everyone_ in the _entire school_. She can't even _interact_ with some of them without leading to mass property damage! She hasn't made any effort at all to change her attitude or behaviour, and you haven't made any attempts to reign her in at all!"

"Yes, I know," Ozpin agreed.

"We're almost out of options here, Ozpin, and - wait, you know?" Glynda paused in confusion.

"I haven't made any effort to reign her in," Ozpin nodded, "That was the idea. Honestly, Glynda, did you really think I didn't have an ulterior motive for my actions regarding our colourful new friend other than to annoy you? Not that annoying you isn't a valuable and productive use of my time, of course, but still."

Glynda forced herself to ignore the last part of his statement and mulled it over for a moment. "All right, Ozpin, you have me curious. Exactly _what_ have you got cooked up now?"

"It actually neatly ties in with another concern you have raised with me in the past," Ozpin began simply, "I'm sure you recall our rather curious guests."

"Yes," Glynda agreed dryly, "I could hardly forget the appearance of someone who I fought directly against purely because she is now wearing a school uniform instead of a dress. Miss Rose may not recall her features, shadowed as she was, but I am an experienced Huntress."

"Well," Ozpin began innocently, "It has occurred to me that our new enrollee could be very valuable as an ambassador to our school. We could certainly attach her to a team from one of our visiting contemporaries," he took a sip of coffee, "Of course, the fact that one of the members of the group I had in mind has a striking similarity to a young woman who prevented you from capturing a criminal, and another almost perfectly matches the description of an armed young woman who had asked for directions to the book shop of a man who was murdered minutes later are mere coincidence."

Glynda frowned. "But surely if she's on their side to begin with-"

"-I'm not sure I believe that she has ever been on anyone's 'side' but her own, Glynda," Ozpin interrupted, "But in either case, what will happen is: she will either subject our guests to her... wonderful personality because she is _genuine_ in her desire to actually be 'on our side', or, she will _need_ to do exactly what we have allowed her to do _very_ publicly throughout her time here so far to keep her cover and prevent anyone from seeing that something is amiss."

"You... you're going to weaponise _annoyingness,_" his deputy said in horrified awe, "I thought you couldn't terrify me any more than you already did."

"I always aim to surpass the expectations that people have for me, Glynda," Ozpin replied smugly, "I assumed you knew that by now."

* * *

"Emerald, can you get the door?" Cinder spoke up as breakfast was interrupted by a knock.

"Sure, Cinder," Emerald practically jumped out of her seat to answer it.

Mercury made a quiet 'whiplash' noise under his breath.

_"You!"_

The two still at the table looked up as Emerald stepped back, pointing at the familiar face standing in the door.

"Woah, wait, weren't you Torch-" Mercury was stopped by a glare from Cinder, "Uh, I mean, who are you? I've obviously never seen you before, you stranger, you."

Roman Torchwick's former hired bodyguard held up a whiteboard.

**WHY HELLO STRANGE PEOPLE I HAVE CLEARLY NEVER EVER MET**

She scribbled another note.

**I HAVE BEEN ATTACHED TO YOUR GROUP IN THE INTEREST OF INTER-SCHOOL RELATIONS**

Neo gave a predatory smile.

**AND NOW WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT TIME TO INFORM YOU THAT I ACTUALLY HEARD EVERY SINGLE HEIGHT JOKE**

Emerald paled and Mercury winced. "Ah."

Cinder internally grimaced as the pair glanced at her for direction. "We need to go with it or we risk losing our cover," she whispered reluctantly, "I'm sure it won't be for long."

* * *

**HEY GUYS**

Mercury and Emerald shared a look as Neo tapped them on the shoulder. They had gone on an errand out in the city, and she had insisted on accompanying them.

**YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD DO WITH RIGHT NOW**

"Stilts?" Mercury offered, only for Emerald to elbow him in the side.

_"Don't provoke her,"_ she hissed.

"Sorry," he whispered back.

**I COULD DO WITH A NICE BOOK**

The pair shared an uneasy glance. "Well, it's a good job there's a library," Emerald offered.

**NAH, I DON'T LIKE LIBRARIES**

Neo scribbled with a frown.

**THE CONCEPT OF TAKING THINGS FROM PEOPLE THEN HAVING TO GIVE THEM BACK ANNOYS ME**

"Agreed," Emerald muttered under her breath.

Neo gave a curious look.

**SAY WASN'T THERE A GOOD BOOK SHOP IN THIS CITY GUYS**

"Uh, yeah, there was," Mercury agreed nervously. _Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!_

**THAT GUY DIED THOUGH DIDN'T HE, SHAME ABOUT THAT**

"So he did," Mercury nodded, desperately trying to think of a way to stop her (they'd already tried taking the whiteboard. That had ended badly), "Fancy that."

Neo put a finger on her chin in a pondering gesture.

**WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED GUYS**

"I'm sure it doesn't matter," Emerald said quickly, "_Look_, there's an ice-cream truck! Let's get some ice cream! You like ice-cream, right?"

Neo's head whipped to where the green-haired thief was pointing.

**HOLY MOTHERF**K**

She whirled around, eyes sparkling and board held up.

**GIMME ICE CREAM BITCH**

Emerald and Mercury breathed a sigh of relief as the parasol-wielding menace seemed to be successfully distracted - for now.

* * *

The day later found Neo shadowing Cinder as she made her way through the campus and back to their dorm room.

**HEY CINDER**

Cinder spared Neo a glance out of the corner of her eye. "Yes?"

**THERE'S PROFESSOR GOODWITCH**

The girl gave a sufficiently awed expression as she pointed out the teacher in question.

**I HEARD SHE'S A TOTAL BADASS CINDER**

She looked at Cinder.

**IMAGINE HAVING TO FIGHT HER**

"Yes," Cinder said slightly uncomfortably, "Imagine."

**WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD BE LIKE CINDER**

"Thankfully, I'll never know," Cinder replied primly.

**I BET IT WOULD BE EVEN HARDER THAN INFILTRATING THE CROSS CONTINENTAL TRANSMIT TOWER**

Neo gave her a questioning look.

**DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE MORE OR LESS DIFFICULT THAN DOING THAT CINDER**

"I don't know," the young woman said, then, more quietly, hissed, _"Shut up." _

Neo reared back, clutching her heart dramatically.

**TELLING A MUTE PERSON TO SHUT UP**

She let her bottom lip tremble a bit.

**HOW COULD YOU TORMENT A DISABLED PERSON LIKE THAT CINDER**

She then wiped an imaginary tear from her eye as she flipped the board around.

**ONLY AN EVIL PERSON WOULD DO THAT CINDER**

"For the plan, it's for the plan, _it's for the plan,_" Cinder repeated to herself under her breath.

* * *

"F**K THE F**KING PLAN!" Cinder screamed as she began setting fire to her immediate surroundings in an attempt to incinerate the heterochromic little _pest_ that had been inflicted on her for the last couple of hours, "EVERYTHING DIES!"

**I ONLY ASKED IF YOU THINK YOU WOULD LOOK GOOD IN A CATSUIT CINDER**

The ever-present board hovered in front of her, part of one of those _damned_ illusions.

**I JUST THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A GOOD LOOK FOR YOU**

"Shut up and stay still so I can _char the flesh from your bones_, you little _annoyance!"_ Cinder blasted the area containing the board with fire. It did nothing.

**THERE'S NO NEED TO GET ANGRY IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU'VE GOT THE BODY FOR IT**

The board flipped around of it's own accord.

**AFTER ALL CINDER, NOT EVERYONE CAN BE AS FABULOUS AS ME**

"DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

_"-the third such incident in the space of a few weeks. However, this time, the attacker, one Cinder Fall, posing as a visiting member of Haven Academy for the Vytal Festival, was also revealed to be partly responsible for the sabotage that lead to the Grimm incursion of Vale several weeks ago. Haven Academy and Mistral have denied any involvement and have declared that she has no link to them in any way - government officials have also revealed that they do not believe her to be an agent of Mistral. Whatever the truth, we can all be glad that this obviously dangerous woman is now safely behind bars. This is Lisa Lavender, bidding you all a safe night."_

"Don't say it," Glynda warned as she turned off the television.

"Don't say what? I wasn't going to say anything," Ozpin replied innocently.

"I know you. I know what you were about to say and if you say it, I swear you _will_ reach escape velocity. Though I do need to ask," she paused, "What will become of Neopolitan now?"

"Oh, I have a few ideas in mind..." Ozpin leaned back in his hair as he took a sip from his coffee cup.


	6. Neo Takes Up Politics

**Disclaimer: RWBY does not belong to me. It belongs to Rooster Teeth, and any attempt to infer otherwise will result in Neo coming to your house to troll you like a hurricane.**

* * *

Ozpin regarded his latest project with satisfaction. Neo had been a roaring success - why, he was so proud he might even start training her up to be his eventual successor in the Headmaster role.

For now, though, there was one, final loose end that needed cleaning up.

"Neo," he smiled from behind his coffee cup, "I'm sure you're wondering why I asked for you."

**NOT REALLY**

She replied with her whiteboard,

**LESSER BEINGS ARE ALWAYS DESPERATE FOR MY ATTENTION**

"I see," he chuckled, "First of all, I'd like to extend my thanks to you for uncovering such a heinous villain. We were all totally unaware that such an evil-doer was in our midst."

She grinned.

**IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A HERO**

"I'm sure," Ozpin nodded, then turned serious, "In fact, your integration into Beacon has been so impressive that I'd like to nominate you for a special mission, one that you are the _most_ qualified to accomplish."

**THAT DOESN'T EXACTLY NARROW IT DOWN**

"No, I suppose it wouldn't," Ozpin agreed, "I will rephrase; this is a mission that only you are able to accomplish. You see, your brothers and sisters in the White Fang are on the path to destruction, and only one like you, who understands their pain, can turn them from it."

**I SEE**

She nodded solemnly.

**IT SEEMS MY PEOPLE NEED ME**

"Yes," Ozpin replied gravely, "Yes, they do. And we've found a way for you to save them. Our informants have alerted us to an upcoming meeting their current leader, Adam Taurus, is hosting," he set down his cup and fixed her with a stare, "Go, Neo, and be the Ice-Cream Faunus your people need you to be."

**I SHALL LEAD THEM TO A BRIGHTER FUTURE**

She silently declared as she held up her whiteboard,

**AS IT WILL HAVE ME IN IT**

* * *

Adam was pleased with the turnout. He had expected membership to be down, what with the disaster that was the Grimm attack, and their 'business partners' being outed and captured by the law, but there was still a big attendance. Perhaps the dead Faunus in the tunnels had become martyrs? It was something to look into.

He stepped out onto the stage, cleared his throat, then blinked as his rousing speech was interrupted by a huge, white screen activating behind him. Whirling around, he saw that simple black writing was appearing on it.

**AHEM**

There was a pause.

**TESTING, ONE, TWO, THREE**

Then, a slightly familiar face to many present walked onto the stage, dressed in colourful white and pink attire, holding an electronic whiteboard that was apparently connected up to the big screen.

**MY PEOPLE**

The words came up for everyone to see.

**YOUR QUEEN HAS RETURNED**

"You're that girl who was with that damn Torchwick!" Someone called out.

**YES I WAS**

Neo bowed in acknowledgement.

**HE HIRED ME BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT YOU GETTING TOO EXCITED ABOUT THAT CRAPPY BATTLESUIT THING**

She shook her head in disbelief.

**SERIOUSLY, ONE OF THOSE GOT ONE-SHOTTED BY A CORGI**

She paused, then quickly scribbled out another note.

**NO OFFENCE TO ANY CORGIS IN THE ROOM**

"None taken!" came a voice from the back.

She then motioned to herself.

**ANYWAY, SO, HE PUT SOMETHING FAR MORE AMAZING ON STAGE WITH IT TO DISTRACT YOU ALL**

She then gave a determined look.

**BUT NOW I AM BACK TO LEAD MY PEOPLE TO VICTORY**

"_Your_ people?" Adam growled, "You're a _human._"

**HUMAN**

Neo looked offended.

**I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I AM A PROUD ICE-CREAM FAUNUS, ADAM**

She motioned to her face.

**MY EYES CHANGE COLOUR ADAM**

She demonstrated with a blink, getting many appreciative 'oohs' and 'aahs' from the crowd.

**HOW MANY HUMANS CAN DO THAT I HEAR YOU ASK, THAT'S RIGHT NONE**

She looked thoughtful.

**WELL, APART FROM YANG BUT I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S A FAIL FAUNUS**

Neo then pointed at her head.

**AND I'VE GOT ICE CREAM HAIR**

She gave a dramatic hair-flick.

**NATURAL COLOURS ADAM**

She gave him a superior smirk.

**NO HUMAN COULD BE THIS FABULOUS**

She then gave him a suspicious look.

**WHAT ABOUT YOU ADAM**

Neo made a show of looking him over.

**YOU DON'T HAVE HORNS, OR ANTLERS, OR ANIMAL EARS, OR SHARP TEETH, OR A TAIL**

She pointed at him dramatically.

**ARE YOU EVEN A FAUNUS ADAM**

"What?" he sputtered, "Of course I'm a Faunus, you fool."

**JUST HAVING STUPID-LOOKING HAIR DOESN'T MAKE YOU A FAUNUS ADAM**

"That discounts you, too," Adam pointed out.

**NO IT DOESN'T ADAM**

She shook her head.

**BECAUSE MY HAIR ISN'T STUPID-LOOKING, IT'S FANTASTIC**

There was a moment of silence.

"...She's got you there, boss," someone admitted from the front row.

**SO THEN ADAM**

Neo looked at him accusingly.

**SHOW US YOUR IDENTIFYING FAUNUS PART**

"...I can't," he admitted reluctantly.

**YOU CANT, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A FAUNUS ADAM**

She smirked smugly at him.

"Look," he said tersely, "I'm a _Bull _Faunus. I. Can't."

Her eyes narrowed, then widened.

**OH**

Her face turned slightly red.

**OOOOOOOHHHHHHH**

There was an awkward silence, marked by most of the female Faunus in the audience eyeing up their (apparently former) leader in a whole new light.

**WELL, IN THE INTERESTS OF KEEPING THIS MEETING PG, I'LL JUST LET YOU STAY IN MY NEW ORDER ADAM**

Neo nodded in satisfaction at another difficult situation being resolved.

**YOU CAN BE THE BOUNCER OR SOMETHING**

She then turned back to the crowd.

**NOW THEN, OUR FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS IS A NAME CHANGE**

She jotted out another line.

**FROM HENCE FORTH, WE SHALL BE**

She paused for a few moments for dramatic tension,

**THE BROWN, WHITE AND PINK FANG**

Neo pointed to herself in silent declaration.

**IN HONOUR OF ME**

She looked around.

**EVERYONE OF IMPORTANCE, VOTE NOW**

She scribbled out a quick word.

**AYE**

Without waiting for a response from anyone else, she wrote again.

**VOTE PASSED, WOW THIS DEMOCRACY THING IS GREAT**

Neo then regarded the crowd.

**THE NEXT THING WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ARE YOUR METHODS**

She shook her head in disappointment.

**THIS MINDLESS VIOLENCE THING IS REALLY GOING TO GET YOU NOWHERE**

This raised a few hackles.

"And what would you have us do?" Adam re-entered the conversation with a snort. "_Peacefully protest?_"

**HELL NO**

She shook her head.

**TAKE INSPIRATION FROM YOUR GLORIOUS LEADER**

She puffed herself up importantly.

**WITH MERE WORDS, I BROUGHT DOWN THE CRIMINAL ORGANISATION THAT WAS PULLING YOUR STRINGS IN A FEW HOURS**

The screen suddenly split into two parts. The first part showed Neo's words as they appeared on the screen.

The second was the beginning of a Presentation.

**SO, MY BRETHREN OF THE BROWN, WHITE AND PINK FANG, IT IS TIME TO START YOUR FIRST SEMINAR ON THE NOBLE ART**

She grinned. It was not a nice grin.

**OF PUSHING PEOPLE'S BUTTONS UNTIL THEY BREAK**

* * *

_"Hello, and welcome back to the Vale News Network, with me, Lisa Lavender. And of course, our top story is still the change in direction for the former terrorist organisation once known as the White Fang, now the Brown, White and Pink fang. With us today is Rudolf Renier, a spokesperson for the newly-changed group. Thank you for coming on the show, Rudolf." _

_"It's my pleasure, Lisa," the suit-clad faunus with distinctive antlers smiled._

_"Now then," Lisa began, "Many are very curious about the reason for the former White Fang's dramatic shift in policy. Can you shed some light on what it was that caused the group to turn over this new leaf?" _

_"New leaf?" Rudolf gasped. "Is that a joke? Are you trying to make fun of me because I'm a Herbivore?"_

_Lisa paled. "What? No, of course not, it's just a saying-" _

_"I did not come on this show to be ridiculed and subjected to bigotry," he declared, "We change our ways, stop the violence, and this is how we are repaid? I suppose next you'll ask me to pull a sleigh, will you?" _

_"N-no, of course not, I'm sorry -" _

_"Your apologies won't bring back all those years of having my nose painted red by the other kids in the neighbourhood!" he pointed at her furiously, "This is an outrage! An outrage!" _

_"I'm sorry!" Lisa wailed, "I didn't mean it! I-" _

Click.

The television turned off.

Lie Ren and Yang Xiao Long shared a haunted look, and then a horrified whisper.

"There's an _army_ of them."

They then proceeded to curl up into little balls on the floor. They would not leave that position until Nora knocked down the door with her hammer and the rest of their respective teams forcibly dragged them out.

* * *

Ozpin nodded in satisfaction. Cinder Fall and her group were safely behind bars, the White Fang's violence had been neutered, Ironwood had lost basically all of his influence and credibility due to the Atlas Mech's complete inability to contain the Neo-instigated rampages by his students, and, most importantly, Glynda was pissed off beyond belief.

Everything had worked out, just as he had planned.

Now, to see what the future held - and maybe get started on training his replacement. She had a lot of potential, but there was still a fair bit of work to be done.

After all, there was _always_ more to be learned from a master.

_Fin_

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's it, folks. Sorry, but that's the end of what I had planned for this, for now. Short, but hopefully sweet. I'll almost definitely do a sequel to this once we hit Volume 3 of RWBY and hopefully have more antagonists for Ozpin and Neo to ruin the lives of, but for now, I'm out of content! I'll probably do some Omakes as I think them up (and in the unlikely event that anyone wants to write one themselves, feel free to contact me with submissions and I'll post up the good ones up on the omake page). **

**Again, thanks a load for the interest and positive reviews to my debut, and I promise I'll get right on planning some more nonsense for you to hopefully enjoy!**


	7. Omake 1: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

**A/N: Well, as promised, here is the first of hopefully several omakes!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own RWBY, Rooster Teeth still do.**

* * *

**Omake: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy**

The assorted members of team RWBY and JNPR held in a groan as the most annoying person in Beacon made an appearance at their library table.

Weiss had barely opened her mouth to ask what Neo wanted now when the multi-coloured girl pointed at Jaune, holding up her whiteboard with an angry frown.

**YOU**

"Me?" Jaune gulped.

**I'M ONTO YOU, JAUNE ARC**

"You are?" he asked in terrified confusion.

**I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE**

Her angry frown didn't budge.

**EVERYDAY GUY WITH NO SKILLS JOINS ELITE SCHOOL FOR MONSTER KILLERS**

She pointed at Ren.

**BEST FRIEND IS FAR MORE SKILLED THAN YOU AND YET SURPRISINGLY FEMININE**

She then waved her hand around at all the others.

**AND CONSTANTLY SURROUNDED BY ATTRACTIVE GIRLS**

She paused.

**AND YANG**

"God DAMN IT!"

**YOU, JAUNE ARC**

She pointed back at him dramatically.

**ARE A GENERIC HAREM SERIES PROTAGONIST**

She began pointing the girls out, starting with Pyrrha.

**THERE'S THE ONE WHO'S COMPARATIVELY AWESOME BUT STUCK IN THE FRIEND ZONE**

She pointed to Ruby.

**THE CUTE LITTLE SISTER TYPE**

Then Weiss.

**THE SNOTTY RICH GIRL WHO PRETENDS NOT TO LIKE YOU**

"I'm not _pretending!_"

**SHUT UP RACIST**

"Oh, for the _last time-_"

Neo held a hand up to shut her up.

**ANYWAY, WHERE WAS I**

She clicked her fingers, then pointed at Blake.

**AH YEAH, THERE'S THE BROODY ONE WITH THE MYSTERIOUS PAST**

Then Nora.

**AND THE ONE WHO'S A COMPLETE F***ING MENTAL CASE**

There was a moment of silence.

"...You missed one," Ren pointed out hesitantly.

**OH FINE**

Neo rolled her eyes.

**AND THE BLONDE DITZ WITH A BIG CHEST**

_"-body, they won't find your body, I swear-"_

Neo ignored the steadily more aggressive mumblings as she gave Jaune a determined look.

**BUT YOU WON'T ENSNARE ME IN YOUR INSIDIOUS HAREM, JAUNE ARC**

She narrowed her eyes.

**I AM IMMUNE TO YOUR EVIL SEDUCTION FIELD AND I WONT LET YOU CLOSE ENOUGH TO TRY**

She hefted her parasol.

**YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE**

She then vanished in a shattering of glass.

There was another moment of silence, as a group of red-faced teenagers experienced the kind of social awkwardness that can only come from red-faced teenagers.

"...What just happened?" Pyrrha said in a daze.

"I don't know," Jaune replied in confusion.

"I think... I think Jaune just became a natural Neo repellent," Ren spoke up tentatively.

It was the absolute, unequivocal, wrong thing to say.

The heads of every girl at the table turned, almost mechanically, towards the suddenly very nervous blonde boy. They considered him for a moment.

Then all hell broke loose.

"Hey, Jaune, we should _totally_ ditch this place and-"

"D-don't get the _wrong idea_, Jaune, but -"

"-M... maybe we could go out for cookies and-"

"-I, I know I'm not much compared to the rest of the girls, but..."

* * *

**It's almost like she plans this stuff, isn't it? Also, if anyone has any suggestions for scenes they'd like to see, let me know!**


	8. Omake 2: Topical Gossip

A/N: I decided the events of the RWBY panel at RTX could really do with some proper commentary and reaction. So here, have a fourth-wall breaking omake number two! After a long wait.

Disclaimer: I don't own RWBY. Rooster Teeth owns RWBY.

* * *

Recent announcements had caused somewhat of a stir in Beacon academy. The leaked tournament footage had been one thing, and the sudden appearance of legendary Huntsman Qrow Branwen and Weiss Schnee's rather distinctive older sister Winter had also come up on the rumour mill - and one particular self-appointed monarch had her finger on the pulse when it came to the rumour mill. It was where she got most of her ammunition, after all.

**PERRY**

Neo eyed her disgruntled slave - er, loyal retainer.

"Yes... Queen... Neo?"

**I NEED TO MAKE A VISIT TO BEACON**

Neopolitan leaned back in her recliner, tapping a finger against her chin thoughtfully.

**FIND SOMEONE CLEVER TO RUN THIS CRAP WHILE I'M GONE**

"You don't even run it anyway," Perry replied, "You make everyone else run it for you while you sit around thinking up new ways to annoy people."

**THEN YOU PEOPLE ARE ALREADY DOING WHAT I'M TELLING YOU TO DO**

She smiled happily.

**IT'S GREAT WHEN YOUR UNDERLINGS SHOW INITIATIVE PERRY**

Perry sighed. "All right," he said, "But what are you going to visit Beacon for?"

Neo's eyes glinted.

**WHY, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE LATEST GOSSIP WITH SOME GOOD FRIENDS, OF COURSE**

* * *

**HEY RUBY**

Ruby blinked as words decidedly different to the ones she was writing, or supposed to be writing, appeared in her notebook, and turned to the perpetrator.

"Neo? What are you doing back here?"

**I CAME TO VISIT MY BEST FRIENDS, OF COURSE**

Yang's face went white with horror, while Blake palmed her forehead and prayed silently for endurance. Weiss twitched slightly.

**SO RUBY, YOU MUST THINK YOUR UNCLE QROW IS PRETTY COOL, RIGHT**

Ruby nodded. "Of course I do! Uncle Qrow is the coolest."

**THEN IT MUST HAVE KIND OF SUCKED TO LEARN THAT LITERALLY NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD AGREES WITH YOU RUBY**

A pause.

**BECAUSE YOUR TEAM MATE HAS A HOT SISTER**

Ruby frowned. "What do you mean?"

**LOOK IT UP RUBY**

Ruby's scroll went off. Looking at the message, and, naively, clicked on the attached link.

Fan-art. So much fan-art. Different outfits, different poses, different words, different backgrounds - but all the same person. Weiss' older sister. Ruby looked at the search parameter.

_'Cool people' _

"W-well... I don't care what other people say. I think Uncle Qrow is really cool," Ruby stammered, looking crestfallen.

"Ignore her, Ruby," Weiss said calmly, "We know what she's like by now."

**OH YEAH IT'S THE RACIST**

Neo looked positively gleeful.

**SO RACIST, IT'S KIND OF IRONIC HUH**

Weiss gave her an unimpressed look. "What is?"

**THAT YOUR SISTER IS CALLED WINTER**

She gave a look of innocent curiosity.

**BUT SHE GOT ALL THE HOT GENES**

Weiss' right eye began to twitch.

**IT MUST HAVE BEEN BAD ENOUGH BEING COMPARED TO YANG IN THE BUST DEPARTMENT, RIGHT RACIST**

Neo nodded seriously.

**BUT BEING COMPARED TO A PAIR OF BOOBS WHICH ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING USEFUL ATTACHED TO THEM MUST BE SO MUCH WORSE**

Weiss jumped to her feet. "I don't care! I DON'T CARE! I DON'T!" she shouted as she stormed out of the room.

Neo brushed a little bit of imaginary dirt off her shoulder. She then turned her attention to easier targets.

**SO YANG**

"What do you want now, you little menace."

**I WAS KIND OF CONCERNED THAT THE FOOTAGE OF THE TOURNAMENT WAS FAKE**

She put on a worried face.

**BUT THEN THEY GOT TO THE PART WITH YOU IN IT AND YOU WERE GETTING YOUR ASS KICKED BY SOME NOBODY**

She nodded to herself.

**SEEMS LEGIT YANG**

"I WILL BREAK YOU IN THE _EVERYTHING!"_ Yang roared, before a joint effort from Gambol Shroud and Crescent Rose swiftly knocked her unconscious.

"Sorry Yang," Ruby said to the motionless form of her sister apologetically, "But we only just fixed our room."

"Why are you even here, Neo?" Blake sighed wearily, "Don't you have other people to pester? Or an army of really annoying people to run?"

**AS IF THE LIKES OF YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THE INTRICACIES OF RUNNING A PARANNOYANCE ORGANISATION**

"You've just made that word up."

**I'M THE QUEEN. I MAKE UP WHATEVER THE F*** WORDS I WANT**

Neo nodded contentedly, assured in the superiority of her argument.

**ALTHOUGH SEEING YOU HAS REMINDED ME BLAKE**

She put on a thoughtful look.

**WHY ARE YOU THE BUTT OF SO MANY CAT-RELATED JOKES**

She tapped her chin.

**IT MAKES ONE CURIOUS BLAKE**

"Yeah," Blake said nervously, "Imagine that. I couldn't explain it."

**I SUPPOSE YOU MUST BE A BIG CAT PERSON**

"Must be," Blake nodded, sweating.

"Yeah," Ruby agreed quickly, "Everyone knows how Blake loves cats."

"Speaking of which," Blake grasped for an excuse, "I needtogoandfeedonenowsobye!"

She raced out the door.

Ruby found herself alone in a room with the Technicolour Terror. She stared in apprehension, much like a rabbit frozen in fear at the sight of a large predator.

Neo gave her a curious smile.

That was all it took. Ruby ran from the room screaming.

Neo looked around at the empty room. Well, empty save for the unconscious Yang.

**WELL, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED I GUESS**

She mulled over what to do next.

**I SUPPOSE I SHOULD GO FIND THAT JAUNE KID NEXT**

She nodded in affirmation of the new plan.

**I KNOW I'LL BE ABLE TO GET HIS TEAM-MATES TO MURDER HIM FOR SOME TIME IN THE SPOTLIGHT SOON**

Silently cackling, she disappeared from the empty room. To new locations... and new victims.

But not before taking advantage of the literal golden opportunity lying at her feet.

Yang's scream of incomprehensible rage when she found she was now sporting a bowl-cut soon became legendary in Beacon school history.


End file.
